Women facing the prospect of single motherhood, abandoned by boyfriends and struggling to make ends meet, need assurances they will not raise the child alone. Christians that speak out against abortion and vote against state constitutional amendments, and the churches they attend, should first address the root cause behind most abortions. Preaching and protesting without care and compassion comes across as judgment and condemnation. Jesus solved the problems underlying and fueling sin – ultimately on the cross, but in His ministry to the helpless and hopeless.
Every church and Christian should stand behind their stance on this hot-button issue, particularly when they’re best positioned to invalidate the primary excuse for terminating the lives of preborn babies. Yet capable and commissioned churches aren’t there to walk alongside women who make the courageous, moral decision to give birth. Are they aware 70% of girls aging out of foster care get pregnant by 21? Do they know America has the highest proportion of single-parent households in the world – three times the global average? Are they concerned that most of them face near certain poverty, barely able to afford housing and food for their children?
Maybe that’s why the conversation in America around abortion has shifted dramatically in recent years. Rarely is the discussion about its immorality but the number of weeks it should be permitted. Christians celebrate a 15 week “ban” when 96% of all abortions take place before then. The spiritual (Imago Dei and sanctity of human life) became political and churchgoers lost their voice by making abortion about politics rather than compassion – a mistake Jesus never made or condoned.
If Christians were willing to address the #1 reason women give for having abortions, they would earn the social equity to speak out against it. Meet The Need and partners at Care Net, The Open Table, Upstream Collaborative, and Lifeline Children’s Services are discussing a program to mobilize church volunteers to help women facing unplanned pregnancies. When she enters a Christian pregnancy center, saying she’s considering abortion because no one will be there for her if she gives birth, representatives would reassure her that’s not the case. Our collaboration would mobilize a local church to form a “Table” to work with her through each stage of the continuum of decisions and needs for her and the child. The “Table” would provide consistent, relational support that reduces reliance on public systems, keeps children out of unnecessary foster placements, replaces isolation with strong families, and demonstrates the Gospel through practical acts of service in the name of Jesus.
1. Discovery & Crisis
What She’s Experiencing: Stacy is pregnant and only 19 years old. The baby’s father is not in the picture. She hasn’t been able to keep a steady job. She’s been staying on the couch of friends while looking for work and attending night school for cosmetology. She grew up in foster care and has no family to turn to for advice. Her friends are pushing her to get an abortion and move on. What keeps running through her mind is, “I can’t take care of myself – how can I take care of a baby?” She feels shame, isolation, and fears no one will be there for her if she chooses life.
2. Decision Point
What She’s Experiencing: Stacy is seriously contemplating an abortion. It seems like the only possible option given her situation – without stable housing or income. She attended church a few times in one of her foster homes and feels like abortion may be morally wrong. Yet the deciding factor for her is the reality of not being able to provide for a child. She musters the courage to visit a Christian pregnancy center before scheduling the procedure.
What We Offer: Stacy wonders as she enters how she’ll be viewed, accustomed to being judged for her past choices. Instead, she feels safe and accepted enough to divulge her fears of abandonment and isolation. What happens next is as unexpected as her pregnancy. Stacy would have been surprised if the pregnancy center offered to help with a one-time gift for a single need, but instead they promise her an ongoing support network of mentors from a nearby church she’s heard of before.
3. Through Pregnancy
What She’s Experiencing: Seeing the ultrasound and hearing a credible promise of committed connections, Stacy chooses life. She feels relief at her decision, reassured she’s doing the right thing – for her and the baby the Lord entrusted to her. Yet she’s painfully aware of her inability to navigate the long road ahead leading up to the delivery alone – no car to get to medical appointments, little money for her physical needs, and likelihood of significant emotional ups and downs.
What We Offer: Stacy’s “Table” provides presence, prayer, and encouragement throughout her pregnancy. Table members accompany her to appointments and work with her foster care case worker to secure benefits. They use their social capital and Link2Hope to ensure she’s prepared to welcome a newborn into her world.
4. Delivery & Birth
What She’s Experiencing: This is a vulnerable moment, particularly for Stacy and other women when the dads aren’t at their side. For moms with additional children, a birth and time in the hospital can risk a “neglect” finding in the courts and foster placement.
What We Offer: Stacy is blessed to have a Table member with her at the delivery. If she had another child, a different teammate would have assumed child care duty.
5. Early Parenting
What She’s Experiencing: Even with a support network, Stacy is often exhausted, learning as she goes, and encountering unanticipated needs. Her “Table” is (officially) committed to her for a year and trained to help in a variety of circumstances she’ll face. When the father of the child heard how well Stacy was doing, he reconnected with her and is showing signs of wanting to be part of their lives.
What We Offer: The Table is celebrating milestones and the progress Stacy is making as a person and parent. They meet twice a month to ensure Stacy’s current situation is healthy – physically, emotionally, and spiritually – while dreaming and planning for her future. Members are using their social capital not only to get Stacy enough diapers, formula, and baby clothes, but to help the child’s dad find a job so he can assume his rightful responsibilities. Relationships have grown to the point where the group is determined not to let their involvement in the lives of this young family “time out”.
6. Reaching Stability
What She’s Experiencing: Our partners at The Chalmers Center and True Charity speak of three phases along the path out of poverty – Relief, Rehabilitation, and Development. Stacy and her family have emerged from relief mode, now putting the building blocks in place for “success”, although not entirely as the world would define it. Yes, housing, finances, education, and employment are all important, but Stacy is also a spiritual leader in her home and attending church regularly.
What We Offer: Stacy and her boyfriend can access resources and service providers (for benefits, budgeting, job readiness) through the Table and Link2Hope, but they benefit most from discipleship, a core function of this church-led initiative. Stacy needed caring, Christ-centered individuals to disciple her through the decision to choose life, maneuver through her fears during pregnancy, support her after the baby was born, and assist in building her confidence as a mom and provider.
7. Flourishing & Reciprocation
What She’s Experiencing: For Stacy, having durable plan means building a sustainable career, repairing broken relationships, and growing in her faith. Without those foundational elements, she knows she runs the risk of returning to poverty. She successfully completed her cosmetology trade certificate. Meanwhile Stacy began noticing other girls aging out of foster care in similar circumstances (when she first walked into the pregnancy center), considering abortion but making the right decision. So Stacy joined a church-led Table to share all she learned from hers.
What We Offer: One “mentor” isn’t enough given the myriad life events Stacy encountered and social capital connections needed. The Table members are blessed to see all God has done through them, birthing new healthy friendships built on the bedrock of unconditional love. A committed community of believers became a story of lasting change, defying the odds and statistics stacked against young, single moms – particularly those leaving the foster care system.
It’s Your Turn…
Do you agree that speaking out against abortion and for the sanctity of human life will fall on deaf ears until churches address abortion’s root cause? Although the decision is made in Stage 2 of Stacy’s story, do you see how the flourishing of a young family depends on the credibility and execution of a church’s promises in Stages 3 through 7?
