There’s one fundamental need that, if not met, will drive humans to take drastic measures to satisfy it. Failure to fulfill that core requirement is the primary reason why the impact and influence of America’s churches have declined. It’s why Christians are mocked and vilified by the media. It’s why people become so publicly expressive of their personal identity, truth, and preferences. It’s why violence escalates on our streets and campuses, ensuring that the world takes notice. It’s why activism and divisiveness have increased between opposing sides of the political spectrum. It’s why colleges became hotbeds of progressivism, with “progress” defined as the removal of Jesus and His teachings (unless selectively borrowed without attribution to Him) from every facet of public life in America. When this basic human right is threatened, people will do what’s necessary to protect it – from Criticizing, to Cancelling, to Condemning, to even Killing. Yet it can never be satisfied fully apart from knowing Jesus as Lord and Savior. Those who pursuing its fulfillment in Christ die to self. Those counting on the world to provide what it never had find themselves at the other extreme (self-preservation).
How does it feel to be unseen and unheard?
Much of the animosity and anger directed at Christians stems from feeling unacknowledged. Mankind is imbued with an inherent desire to be recognized for who we are or what we want to project. When someone tunes us out, not paying attention to our words or actions, we’re either humiliated and dejected or become more animated and demonstrative. Isolation and loneliness are epidemics in America today, with over 30% of Americans between 18-34 essentially navigating life on their own without a sense of meaning and purpose. America’s youth lack true connections on social media and underlying value (according to college professors). Few have less social capital than those experiencing material poverty. They rarely receive inbound communications because most calls, emails, and texts are about getting something – so the silence conveys they have little to offer.
What do people do when they’re not seen or heard?
Those who aren’t heard raise the decibel level. Those who aren’t seen increase their visibility. Becoming louder and zealous for a cause may appear virtuous but most are crying out for attention. Many Gen Zers have felt ostracized by Christians or churches, finding open arms in groups far more welcoming. They attempt to recapture their voices among those more “tolerant” of whatever sin made them feel judged among believers. When alienated youth have nowhere to turn, with all outlets for expression seemingly closed, we see America’s record levels of depression and suicide. We see young and old alike venting on social media or even resorting to violence to turn up the volume. The target of their ire is whoever refuses to listen or affirm their self-perception.
How does their behavior change when they’re seen and heard?
Young men in America have begun returning to church in recent years. That reversal, which could spark revival, was due in part to Charlie Kirk’s willingness to talk on their terms and on their turf. He understood the risks, withstood abuse, ignored death threats, and paid the ultimate price. He opened the mic and answered questions in hostile territory – college campuses. He tore down walls erected by Christians and churches unwilling or unable to connect with youth in that way or at that level. Yes, Charlie Kirk was highly political, yet highly evangelistic. He knew and shared Scripture as well as nearly any pastor, but was more effective in reaching those unseen and unheard because he went where they were and gave them an opportunity to present themselves unreservedly.
How did Jesus make people feel seen and heard?
Jesus cared for the condemned (woman caught in adultery), outcast (Samaritan lady), and ignored (blind Barimaeus). He gravitated to the abused, belittled, and broken-hearted. Jesus went out of His way to speak with those who hated and opposed Him. Jesus listened to what they had to say and didn’t withhold the truth about who He is. Today Jesus still sees and hears everyone willing to open their eyes and mouths – to observe how He’s working in their lives and to speak to Him in prayer. It’s only those who don’t know Him who can’t recognize His activity and voice, satiating those natural inclinations elsewhere, failing to realize they were never truly unseen or unheard. Jesus set an example that most Christians and churches in America no longer follow, precipitating this divisive period in our nation’s history.
How did churches used to make people feel seen and heard?
For roughly 200 of America’s nearly 250 years, churches served as the cultural, spiritual, and charitable center of town. They were the first place the hopeless and helpless thought to go. When disaster struck, they were the first responders. When a family endured tragedy, the Christian community rallied. When homelessness or hunger plagued the city, churches were on the front lines. Few questioned the kindness and compassion of Christ-followers. Their presence was palpable. Even non-believers felt seen and heard because the church could be clearly seen and heard.
How is church not letting people feel seen and heard today?
The seeds of division were sown when “come” replaced “go” as the Church’s strategic imperative. The Church increasingly abdicated its lead role in poverty alleviation. The definition of the word “church” switched from believers to buildings, from people to pastors, and from weeks to weekends. The target “customer” of church transitioned from the “lost” in the community to the “found” in the pews, providing poor “customer service” to anyone not interested in attending next Sunday. Treating members like “customers”, attracting and retaining, meant being careful about empowering or equipping, lest they find a less demanding church down the road. Churches and Christians began neglecting “outsiders” – unseen and unheard.
What’s the effect on churches of not making people feel seen and heard?
Non-believers don’t see or hear churches that don’t see or hear them. Over 80% of American congregations have shrunk or plateaued, and 80% of the rest are growing due mostly to transfers from other churches, not conversions. Church attendance has declined more in the past quarter century than any other period in our nation’s history (40 million). U.S. adults identifying as Christian decreased 25% since the early 1990s. The distance between the seen and unseen, heard and unheard, is widening. Nones (unchurched) and Dones (dechurched) dig their heels in deeper the longer they’re ignored. Only the Church can overcome the political and social discord it largely created.
How can churches and Christians ensure everyone feels seen and heard?
The answer is not inviting those who don’t worship Jesus into holy worship services. Few are likely to come anyway given the distrust in the institution from decades of spiritual distancing. The key is turning a weakness (atrophy from catering to “customers) into a strength (disciple-making). Only 1% of pastors think their church is disciplining well. A solar eclipse of evangelism and discipleship has blocked the Son’s rays. Personal connections and leverage are necessary to bridge America’s divides. We must deploy disciples into workplaces and neighborhoods. Drop the Stone, Open Table, and Link2Hope all operate on that principle of proximity – called subsidiarity. Churchgoers are best positioned to make the disenfranchised feel seen and heard – talking with them (conversations), not at them (sermons).
Does seeing and hearing mean justifying everyone’s behaviors?
Compromise makes Christians complicit. We are not to judge non-believers, but we don’t need to endorse or applaud sin either in order to see and hear. Jesus modeled the delicate balance between accepting and acceptance. Jesus came to fulfill the law, not abolish it. He told the woman in John 8 not to keep sinning. However, He taught us that the greater sin is lacking love. A disciple’s responsibility is to sit at the table, listen and learn what’s blocking coworkers and neighbors from the hope (of eternity) and freedom (from sin) that we enjoy. Demonstrating true love through connection and compassion stops their futile search for lesser forms of “love” elsewhere.
Does seeing and hearing mean not risking offense by sharing the Gospel?
The Bible is clear that leading a person toward Jesus will offend. It’s impossible to share the good news (of salvation) without the bad news (of sin). But the Lord’s math is multiplication (discipleship), not addition (extending an invitation to church next Sunday). It’s much easier to give directions TO the temple than to BE the temple (of the Holy Spirit). Yet many Christians claim to be too loving and sensitive to make non-believers uncomfortable. In fact, 47% of Millennials feel it’s wrong to share one’s religious beliefs with someone of a different faith. So they practice a “social gospel” devoid of personal evangelism. However, embodying the transformative power of the cross requires each of us live out Prayer, Care, AND Share.
It’s Your Turn…
The Drop The Stone Challenge demolishes walls churches have built. Rather than casting the first stone, Drop The Stone is an opportunity to make non-believers feel seen and heard. Share Jesus’ story of grace and forgiveness from John 8 or the video where Charlie Kirk tells that story with 4 of your friends on Facebook. Tell them you’ve decided to #DropMyStone. Challenge them to share it with 4 other friends if they liked the story – and if they didn’t, ask them why. #CivilDiscourse.
